razzberry

I’ve made a few #vaguebook posts lately, and I do apologize for that, but suffice it to say I’ve been working through a lot of things over the past year.

I’m reminded of something my parents said when I was little: “You are an average of the five people with which you spend the most time.” I remember being angry with them back then for what I thought was judging my friends, but what they were really doing is not wanting me to inherit bad habits. They wanted me to be around people who were “good” for me. However, if the same quote can be applied to my friends, then in my parents’ eyes maybe I was good for those friends they were concerned about.

In the end, I’m happy to say my parents taught me to love everyone no matter who they are and to create friendships with a wide variety of people. I can see this to be true because, like my dad, I’ll strike up a conversation with a stranger and give it no second thought.

Events have happened in my personal life over the past year that have made me wonder about who I can really trust, who I can really call a friend, and what exactly is the value of my time. It makes me consider reining in my openness with others and to be pickier about who I choose to share my time. This thought didn’t become crystal clear until about a week ago, after my day of doctor visits that ended with a trip to the ER. The fear that whole day put me through brought that straight home. I’ve been considering how I spend my time and just what really feels worthwhile and important to me. It made me take notice of those who truly care, who drop literally everything to help, and those who couldn’t care less unless I’m available to do something for them.

I feel very one-sided with some personal aspects of my life, and I feel the need to make changes. In truth, I’ve already started.

Note: Any relationship that feels one-sided is no relationship at all.

TL/DR: If you find that you’re in a relationship, any kind, that makes you feel tired, drained, exhausted, or taken advantage of, then take a moment to step back and evaluate the situation. It’s not a bad thing to let people go, but it is a bad thing to expend so much energy on a person that you yourself feel worse for it. Life is just too damn short to not have love. Show love for yourself by remembering how valuable you are.