The Princess Bride / Star Wars Crossover

Here is the transcription of the GENIUS crossover that is The Princess Bride / Star Wars (originally from Reddit):

“Hello. My name is Luke Skywalker. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

“Never go up against a Mandalorian when death is on the line!” immediately falls into Sarlacc pit

“Bye, boys! Have fun storming the Death Star!”

“Wampas Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.”

“Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, on Hoth?”

“Give us the access code.”
“What access code?”
“Chewie, tear his arms off.”
“Ohhh you mean this access code!”

“I could give you my word as a Corellian.”
“No good. I’ve known too many Corellians.”

“Why can’t I see?”
“You’ve been mostly-frozen all day.”

That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “I know”, what he meant was, “I love you.”

“Why do you wear that black mask? Were you burned on Mustafar, or something like that?”
“Oh no, it’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”

“Luke doesn’t get eaten by the rancor at this time.”
“The rancor doesn’t get him. I’m explaining to you because you look nervous.”

“The Fowce is what bwings us togevver today. It suwwounds us, and penetwates us. It binds the gawaxy togevver.”

“To the high ground means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists…”

“I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it further.”
“‘Deal’. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder!”
“That may be the first time in my life anyone has dared call me scruffy-looking.”

“See, didn’t I tell you he’d never kill his father?”
“Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.”

“No more rhymes, now. I have spoken.”
“Anybody want a Beskar token?”

“I am the Dread Pirate Solo. There will be no survivors.”

Rey: “Is very strange. I have been in the rebellion so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.”
Luke and Leia: “Have you ever considered the Jedi Order? You’d make a wonderful Jedi Master Skywalker.”


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